*DRUMROLL* The new Doctor Who…

The new Doctor is, gasp! A woman!

Specifically Jodie Whittaker, best known for her role on Broadchurch. Ironically, opposite a former Doctor.

For the record, as long as the stories, acting and action are good, I’m perfectly fine with a female Doctor, and honestly could care less. 

But more than a little part of me thinks this is political, and if it’s a political casting, then there will be politics and public perception weighed out in every episode. And that will destroy Doctor Who until they remove her and go back to a male lead. Then there will never be another opportunity for a woman as the Doctor because BBC bowed to the critics and journalists, not the fans.
When you listen to the noise and let social issues and talking head perception affect your choices, you will fail every time. I truly hope they chose Jodie for the right reasons, because she was the best choice of the possible choices, but I have some doubts….

I wish her the best of luck, and hope the new showrunner Chris Chibnall and the BBC don’t fuck her career for short term ratings and headlines….

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A Janky Definition of “Courage”

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*Disclaimer: i don’t care for Apple products. While i think they function decently, i even owned a Mac desktop for several years, and had an i-phone & I-pad as  work issued devices, there is nothing revolutionary about them, and they are trendy products in the same way PBR is inexplicably a trendy beer for hipsters right now. So take my opinions with a grain of salt.*

So, there’s a new I-Phone coming out. Let’s focus on the revolutionary and courageous new Specs & features:

  1. THEY GOT RID OF THE HEADSET JACK!!! REVOLUTIONARY!!! COURAGEOUS!!!!  Wait, didn’t Motorola already get rid of the jacks on their new “Z” line phones?
  2. IT’S WATERPROOF!!!!!  -Wait, Didn’t Samsung release waterproof phones starting in 2013?
  3.  AN EVEN BETTER DUAL CAMERA!!!! -Wait, didn’t  LG do that in 2011 & HTC in 2013-current? 
  4. IT HAS A REVOLUTIONARY 64 BIT QUAD CORE PROCESSOR!!!– Wait, didn’t Oppo start that trend in 2014 with the R5?
  5. HUGE BATTERY!!!!  3000 mAh battery!!!!!! –Wait, hasn’t Motorola had 6 phones since 2013 with at least a 3500 mAh battery?
  6. Professional photographers will be happy to know that the iPhone 7 finally supports RAW image format-Wait, didn’t Samsung release the Note 5 and LG release the LG G4 and LG V10 in 2015 with that feature?
  7. BUT HEY, THEY’VE IMPROVED THE FINGERPRINT SCANNER!!!! AND THEY HAD THAT FIRST -Wait, didn’t Motola have a fingerprint scanner on the Atrix in 2011?
  8. WELL, THEY PUT OUT AMAZING WIRELESS HEADPHONES!!!!!– Here’s a list of the 10 best Wireless headphones. It came out a year ago HERE     

The fact is, Apple has revolutionized its own phone for its core customers. This is a phone for people that know nothing about phones, and think 95% of Americans have an i-phone (it’s actually Android 52%, Apple 43%… Worldwide Apple is at 23%)

I’m not saying don’t buy an i-phone. If you want to make calls, text and listen to music without ever learning anything about your phone, or technology in general, then yeah, an i-phone is ok. But don’t think for a moment that Apple is doing anything revolutionary or courageous, they’re just continuing their 4 year trend of following everything everyone else does, long after they’ve done it.

Remember, Prior to the 6S & 7S, Steve Jobs said no one was ever going to buy a phone larger than 3.5-4 inches because “you can’t get your hand around it”

Visionary indeed.

 

 

Asshole Musicians Of The Week

Celebrities do a lot of dumb things. All the time. I know it, you know it and if they weren’t to busy doing afore-mentioned dumb things, they’d probably know it too. So here’s my top  asshole moves by bands/musicians.

  1. Maroon 5.

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Everyone that knows me knows I support gay marriage, have several gay friends and fully believe in a “live & let live philosophy”.

However, let’s play a game of spot the hypocrisy.

In Russia homosexuality was classified as a mental illness till 1993 and being openly gay was banned till 1999. Anyone that falls under the category of LGBT is openly discriminated against, has no legal protections and zero domestic partner rights. There are multiple documented cases of transpersons being beaten by vigilante groups for using the wrong bathrooms or being openly trans. Want to see freedom for openly gay people? Read up on the Russian punk band Pussy Riot.

Why bring this up? Maroon 5 has decided they can’t perform in NC because the anti-lgbt law there goes against their principles. Yet they still plan to perform in Russia this summer.

I guess principles get all “grey area” where their wallets are concerned.

     2. Beyonce

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Beyonce is all about girl power, woman power, race power….power power, power. We’ll skip over the fact that she completely fucked over the original members of Destiny’s Child and talk about her clothing line Ivy Park. Because, while she’s all about empowering women, she opted to have her clothing line manufactured in Sri Lanka. And while Beyonce is all about empowering women, the seamstresses in her factory make $6.23 a day. Now that’s power(Honorable mention goes to the national review that claims Beyonce is a hero because most workers in Sri Lanka make slightly less than $6 a day).

3. Justin Bieber

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Poor Bieber had to cancel a show in Argentina. During a visit to Argentina in 2013, Bieber was seen disrespecting Argentina’s flag during a concert and in 2015 an Argentinian judge issued an arrest warrant for him related to the assault of a photographer.

Although let’s be honest, he makes this list as long as he’s breathing.

 

 4.Wes Scantlin (Puddle Of Mudd Vocalist)

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The Charming, lovable lead singer of Puddle of Mudd has a warrant out for his arrest after failing to appear in court for one of the 12,000 dumb things he’s done in less than 2 years.

The singer’s arrest record is a laundry list of charges, including trespassing and vandalizing his former home, multiple DWI / DUIs and even riding the baggage carousel drunk at an airport. Scantlin’s also made headlines for multiple mid-show meltdowns where he accused a fan of stealing his house, shutting down a show after verbally abusing the venue’s sound guy and ranted at the crowd from a chair onstage while the rest of his band walked offstage. He even somehow managed to avoid charges for being involved in a standoff with 30 police officers. While attempting to jump-start a car, Scantlin hurried from the driveway and into his house when the authorities arrived, refusing to come out for two hours. Winning!

Friday Night Math

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So Wendy’s is going to put in self order kiosks at 6,000 locations this year, and if it goes well, start rolling it out to franchises next year. I’m going to guess if this does well, McDonald’s, Burger King and other fast food chains will follow very quickly, like right around the time minimum wage hits $15 in NY, CA and the other states putting it in to effect.
 
So here’s a quick economics lesson:
$15 is more than $9 or $10
but $9 or $10 is a lot more than what you get when your unemployment runs out because you’ve been replaced by robots.
Additionally, $9 or $10 is also enough to afford that GED you didn’t bother with or $9-$10 is enough for most people to scrape by with to get an associate degree at a community college.
lastly, $39,000 a year average for most people with associates degrees is a lot more than $9-$10 an hour. Probably worth you racking up a few years of student loans so you don’t have to smell like fry grease.
My Point?
You did this to yourself.

The Post where i rant about the Rock-N-Roll Hall Of Fame.

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The Rock-N-Roll hall of Fame ceremony was last night. Don’t worry, the show runners will whittle the ceremony down to the most bland, predictable moments for mass consumption very soon.
Gene Simmons of kiss recently spoke out against NWA getting into the Hall of Fame, saying that  rap is killing rock-n-roll and “I am looking forward to the death of rap,” he stated. He’s actually been bitching about rappers getting in for several years.

But Gene seems to forget that the spirit of rock-n-roll doesn’t die when you let rappers (or Chicago) into the hall of fame. It dies every time every one of these bands (of any type) agrees to be part of a bloated, political, mainstream mess that actually doesn’t give a shit about artists. My problems with the Hall of Shame echo my issues with the Grammys. The people voting and running these organizations are the same vastly out of touch members of the old guard that left blues, doo-wop and Motown artists penniless and destitute later in life, then “honor” them long after they’re mostly dead and profit off their inductions.
Ice cube said in a recent interview “…but I think he’s (Gene) wrong on this, because rock ’n’ roll is not an instrument and it’s not singing. Rock ’n’ roll is a spirit. N.W.A is probably more rock ’n’ roll than a lot of the people that he thinks belong there over hip-hop. We had the same spirit as punk rock, the same as the blues.”
 The flaw in Ice Cube’s statement is that this is an oganization that doesn’t care about the spirit, it lets personal tastes, back room deals and whatever way the (usually minority) public opinion is blowing decide who gets in. The fact is if any of these 20, 30 & 40 year old bands still had any rock essence left in them, most of them would stop touring as a nostalgia act & break up (good move Motley Crue).
 In fact, let’s be completely honest, if the 18 yr old versions of Gene Simmons, Ice Cube, Billy Joe Armstrong, James Hetfield, Iggy Pop, The Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Public Enemy, The Sex Pistols or The Clash, among others, were to see that most of these people actually cared about an induction into this Hall Of Shame, their younger versions would kick their asses. If rock is dead, it isn’t because Chuck D got in, it’s because he allowed it to happen at all.
Lastly:
I don’t really like Steve Millers music, never have. But he gets it pretty right with this statement. Nice to see someone say something.

“Storybook Endings” Now Available

I am very happy to announce that my newest book, “Storybook Endings” is now available!!!! For now you can buy it as a paperback or an e-book at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/63channelspress 

For those of you that use a kindle, nook or I-Pad, the book will be available on all those formats in 6-8 weeks. I’ll send out another announcement as each format become available.

if, for some bizarre reason you want an autographed copy, please shoot me a message, don’t buy from my store. I will send it to you directly with some extra goodies. This does cost a few bucks more than the book alone.

Here’s a first review of the book:

About the book:

“Captivating, complex, impressive and resolute, Storybook Endings “bend[s] the bright lights of tomorrow” into one of the most interesting gatherings of material published this past decade. Endings explores new ideas with characteristic brilliance and attention to detail. While his writing varies in forms from prose to free verse poetry and everything in between, Feulner is a truth-teller: “look[ing] inside the outside,” he makes his way through the varied forms, and in doing so, seeks to move through the self, the story, and the truth in ways that are never anything short of instantly fascinating  and immediately compelling. There aren’t many writers whose language so precisely resonates with the pervasive concerns of the contemporary human condition. Feulner is a powerful writer whose daring and ambitious “storybook endings” aims at the heart of extant America and hits their bull’s eye every time.”

– Michelle Greenblatt, Poetry Editor of Unlikely Stories, author of brain:storm and the ASHES AND SEEDS (forthcoming)

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Just Shut Up & Play A Song Zooey…..

Recently, Bands like The Yeah, Yeah, Yeah’s, She & Him & Savages have been banning camera’s, including cell phones at their concerts. Other musicians like The Smith’s Johnny Marr have called concert goers “Dicks” for using their cell phone camera during concerts.

Bands that aren’t banning camera’s or even directly ranting against them on stage are still weighing in. The common argument on their part? “Why bother taking pictures? they’re gonna look like shit anyway”

Here’s my response to that argument:

Ok, yeah, i see what you mean, spoiled rock stars. that picture i posted below, taken with a Motorola Droid smartphone with a mid-level 8 megapixel camera from 20 feet away, is so dark and grainy and blurry and distorted, i don’t know why i bothered taking it…..

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Their next argument is that if you spend your night taking pictures, you miss that experience of the live show. Now i can’t speak for everyone, i know there are some idiots in this world, but in the course of a concert i probably spend 10 minutes taking pictures. That means i’m a captive audience for the other 50 minutes (or more) that the headline act is playing. Does that 10 minutes, scattered across an hour really hurt how i see the show?

I look at groups like In Flames, who pull fans on stage to record songs with their smartphones, steal phones from the audience and take “selfies” and make attendees promise they’ll post any videos that come out well on You Tube.

Then i look at bands like Cake, that chastise the audience and refuse to start another song until fans put their phones away.

Which band actually gives a fuck about the concertgoer?

Here’s a suggestion: Shut up. You play music for a living. Yes, i know it’s not always as glamorous or easy as people think, but you’re still famous for a living. Trade places with a construction worker for a month or a fast food worker for a week, or a cell phone salesperson for a day, and you’ll go running back to your air conditioned tour bus you whiny little pansy.

Maybe, just maybe, if you cut Ticketmaster & Live Nation out of the ticket process, lower your ticket prices, lower your t-shirt prices, stop blocking your music from streaming services and give your fans 100% every time you walk out on stage, maybe you can dictate how we attend your concerts. Until then just play your one fucking hit and let us document & experience the concert how we see fit.