A Janky Definition of “Courage”

*Disclaimer: i don’t care for Apple products. While i think they function decently, i even owned a Mac desktop for several years, and had an i-phone & I-pad as  work issued devices, there is nothing revolutionary about them, and they are trendy products in the same way PBR is inexplicably a trendy beer for hipsters right now. So take my opinions with a grain of salt.*

So, there’s a new I-Phone coming out. Let’s focus on the revolutionary and courageous new Specs & features:

  1. THEY GOT RID OF THE HEADSET JACK!!! REVOLUTIONARY!!! COURAGEOUS!!!!  Wait, didn’t Motorola already get rid of the jacks on their new “Z” line phones?
  2. IT’S WATERPROOF!!!!!  -Wait, Didn’t Samsung release waterproof phones starting in 2013?
  3.  AN EVEN BETTER DUAL CAMERA!!!! -Wait, didn’t  LG do that in 2011 & HTC in 2013-current? 
  4. IT HAS A REVOLUTIONARY 64 BIT QUAD CORE PROCESSOR!!!– Wait, didn’t Oppo start that trend in 2014 with the R5?
  5. HUGE BATTERY!!!!  3000 mAh battery!!!!!! –Wait, hasn’t Motorola had 6 phones since 2013 with at least a 3500 mAh battery?
  6. Professional photographers will be happy to know that the iPhone 7 finally supports RAW image format-Wait, didn’t Samsung release the Note 5 and LG release the LG G4 and LG V10 in 2015 with that feature?
  7. BUT HEY, THEY’VE IMPROVED THE FINGERPRINT SCANNER!!!! AND THEY HAD THAT FIRST -Wait, didn’t Motola have a fingerprint scanner on the Atrix in 2011?
  8. WELL, THEY PUT OUT AMAZING WIRELESS HEADPHONES!!!!!– Here’s a list of the 10 best Wireless headphones. It came out a year ago HERE     

The fact is, Apple has revolutionized its own phone for its core customers. This is a phone for people that know nothing about phones, and think 95% of Americans have an i-phone (it’s actually Android 52%, Apple 43%… Worldwide Apple is at 23%)

I’m not saying don’t buy an i-phone. If you want to make calls, text and listen to music without ever learning anything about your phone, or technology in general, then yeah, an i-phone is ok. But don’t think for a moment that Apple is doing anything revolutionary or courageous, they’re just continuing their 4 year trend of following everything everyone else does, long after they’ve done it.

Remember, Prior to the 6S & 7S, Steve Jobs said no one was ever going to buy a phone larger than 3.5-4 inches because “you can’t get your hand around it”

Visionary indeed.




The post where I mock Hollywood & the new Steve Jobs movie using potentially shaky math that I googled.


Critics loved it! Apple! Stellar cast! Apple! Very little opening weekend competition! Apple! How could it not be blockbuster?

1. Only 64% of Americans have a smartphone.

2.  47% of those Americans use Android. There’s basically half your viewers gone.

3. 28% of Apple owners are over 50 and can barely text, never mind worship the ghost of Jobs.

4. Only 40% of movie goers are interested in seeing biopics in the theater.

5. People fail to realize that only populations of major cities really care about these types of Oscar bait-inside story movies

Take those nuggets and lets do some math! This means that since roughly 62% of American adults go to the movies every weekend, only about 105 million people would even consider going to see the movie, (this ignores 46% of the population that doesn’t even have a smartphone) and they have a choice of over 45 movies in wide release and several dozen more in limited runs….

So even if all 105 million Americans that like Apple & like biopics went to see it, they would have made roughly $16 mil this weekend. It made $7.3 mil. They forecast at least $19 mil

The bigger question is, who was dumb enough to green light it?