Early Black Friday & Why I May Hate You….

Ok, we’ve made it through a loud, hateful, ugly, over-hyped, over advertised, over kill political campaign. And now, just when we are licking our wounds or celebrating out victory, it’s time for it to start all over. Not not the election already, not the debt ceiling crisis. What i’m talking about will be much worse….. CHRISTMAS SEASON!

It’s November 8 and retailers are declaring war on you. I asking everyone to resist, especially on Thanksgiving. Because thanks to all you A-holes that decided to shop at midnight on Thanksgiving last year, Wal-mart, Target, Toys-R-Us & Best buy are opening even earlier this year, some as early as 8PM. Even some malls are following suit and opening at midnight.

We have become so obsessed with “deals” and sales and commercialism that we are willing to Fuck with the Thanksgiving of hundreds of thousands of retail employees so we can get a dam TV for $50 off or a Furby retread that our kids will hate 4 days after christmas. Is this really what we’ve become? We’re already obese, dragging behind in education, innovation & technology, we abuse and mutilate our animals, we fight over petty issues and now we essentially treat retail employees as lower life forms because we NEED that $19.99 Blu-Ray player????

This is a sad, selfish, pitiful world we’re creating and wallowing in, and anyone that leaves their family to go shopping on Thanksgiving should be ashamed of themselves. I’m being completely serious when i say the following: If we are friends and you shop on Thanksgiving, don’t you dare tell me. Because i will lose all respect for you. I will delete your email, unfriend you on facebook & Remove from my Twitter feed. Yes, this seems extreme, but i think we’ve hit the point where we need to embrace extremes. If you put your need to SHOP above the chance for people to be with their loved ones, you probably aren’t someone i want to call a friend anyway. YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.

Think I’m being over dramatic? fine, you’re entitled to your opinion. Go, shop to your hearts content. I hope you get trampled in a mad rush for the last Nintendo Wii U…

(jumps off his soap box, bellows at the top of his lungs, kicks an inflatable Santa and goes to get drunk)


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