Confessions…

Here are some confessions. Some are personal, some sad, some smartass, and most are just random….

1. I don’t like sports. Specifically Football, Baseball, Basketball, Nascar and golf ( i kinda like hockey) Yeah, i pretend to, i even follow sports just enough so i don’t feel like an idiot in a conversation. But i don’t like them and really can’t see people’s obsession with them.

2. I don’t remember my first kiss. I’m not sure if that’s something I’m supposed to remember, or if  only girls do, but when I think back, it all gets jumbled. I was young, I know that, very young. So if you’re reading this and I was your first kiss, give me  a shout, maybe it will turn out you were mine…

3. I would rather spend time with dogs that almost every human on earth… dogs rule. nuff said

4.  I hate my writing.   I love to write, Don’t think I could ever stop, but to be honest, I don’t think I have much talent. Both of my books have been met with lukewarm sales and in my mind there’s no surprise there. So why do I keep releasing books? writing poetry? blogging?  because some people have told me they love my writing. So that would indicate that I care what people think, which makes me maybe a little insecure…which really just kind of pisses me off.

 

5. I daydream. I have an imagination so vivid, so detailed and sometimes so dark, that it can occasionally distract me from real life. Chances are, while you and i were having a conversation, I had about three daydreams and five hundred thoughts run through my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I was listening. There’s a very good chance I can actually repeat back to you word for word everything you said to me and respond intelligently to you, but I was thinking  dozens of other thoughts at the same time….sorry…

6. I don’t believe in self-help or Motivational books. I’ve met many people who eat these things up. Most of them were weak-minded and still unhappy with their lives after reading dozens of books and trying a bunch of different methods. If They actually worked, there would only be one book, and everyone would own it. (disclaimer: please don’t send me hate mail on this one. If it doesn’t apply to you, don’t get your panties in a bunch)

 

 

7. I don’t think all babies are cute. Most newborns are red, smushy and weird-looking. There is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.

8. I don’t think that David Letterman, Gary Shandling, Tracey Ulman, Amy Poehler, Larry David, Eugene Levy, jeffery Tambor, Tracey Morgan & Fred Willard are even slightly funny. I can’t think of a single reason any of these people are even still allowed to act….. on the cusp: Will Arnett.

 

 

9. I’m not that crazy about the “godfather” movies and i never watched a single episode of “the Sopranos” Feel free to go into righteous indignation and start throwing rocks now. I don’t care…..

 

10. Some times i run out of steam and just give up…..

 

So there you have it. 10 random pointless “confessions”. thanks for humoring me….

 

*after reading this post, i realize i may have come off a little “Andy Rooney”. Should i be concerned about this? probably not until my eyebrows attempt to invade my forehead….*

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