thoughts for this week are a little late, a little eclectic and a little angry. At least there’s variety.
1. Late Night TV: You find the weirdest shit on late night tv. really, really odd things.
Exibit A. Booty Pop Panties: Yes, these are panties that come with padding to make your butt look bigger and “higher”. really? when did shelf-ass become a desirable thing? curious? click HERE
Exibit B. Pos T-Vac: is it a vacum? Is it a vacum that helps your posture? Is it the newest $500 Dyson miracle cleaner? nope….. it’s a penis pump. really. the site claims that it’s a “safe, non drug, non medical treatment for erectile dysfunction” basically whenever the misses is in the mood, you whip this bad boy out and …welll… Vac yourself till you’re “up” to the task. i’m sure you think im lying, so click HERE
this could actually be great cross marketing. sell the panties to the old women so their asses don’t sag & husbands will want to play “pump up the jam”
2. Will Smiths Kids: I used to love the fresh prince, i even liked some of his music…”take it from me, parents just don’t understand” So here’s what i can’t understand Will. Why do we need to be subjected to your cocky, entitled, bratty little kids? For starters we didn’t need your son to waltz smugly across the movie screen and pretend that qualifies as acting. It doesn’t. And we really, really don’t need your 9 year old daughter to release a rap album. what’s the first single “Butlers just don’t understand”??? What the hell did Will have to promise Jay-Z to get him to sign Willow? maybe that he would never do another rap album? Ok, that might be a fair trade off…oh, and really? Jada and Will name their kids Jayden & Willow? really? and wait, what’s that? you’re helping the two of them launch their own clothing line? seriously…just fuck off
3. The Word Literally: If one more celebrity uses this word without actually know what it means i may go insane. Lindsay lohan is in this months Vanity Fair. On the cover is the quote “I was literally falling apart” No, you’re a bullemic, coked out trust fund kid with no real talent. You are “literally” useless, not falling apart. HERE is a blog dedicated to the constant misuse of this word. There’s actually enough abuse of this word by actors & politicians to dedicate a blog to it. amazing…
4. Asshole of The week:The National Bureau of Economic Research: This brilliant group of people announced today that the recession that started in 2007 actually ended last July, and we are currently in the midst of a recovery. You have to be f**king kidding me. The Stock Market is floundering, The housing market is worse than it was in 2008 or 2009, Consumer spending and confidence is at almost an all time low and the unemployment rate is higher than ever. They actually admit that “The United States economy has lost more jobs than it has added since the recovery began over a year ago”. Where the hell is the recovery? of course these are the people that couldn’t tell us until 2009 that the recession started in 2007. These are the people that just decided this week that the recession ended over a year ago. What the hell are they using? a Farmers Almanac? Miss Cleo could do better. I “literally” wish diarrhea on this ENTIRE government agency.