What I Love/Hate About Christmas

Working in a retail enviroment gives you a slightly different perspective on the Holiday season. So with 10 days left to go till X-mas, here’s my lists of my favorite & least favorite things…

Hate: Christmas in September – Why the hell does Target have out Christmas decorations when they’re still selling Halloween costumes? Why does Christmas music start in the mall before Thanksgiving? and why do Christmas movies start showing ON Thanksgiving? New rule of thumb, December 5th or the first snowfall of more than 3 inches = start of holiday season

Like: Christmas Movies – National Lampoons X-mas Vacation, Elf, The Ref, Scrooged, The nightmare before x-mas. Yes, I know these are the least traditional xmas movies around, but what did you expect from me? If it makes you feel better i do make time for The Grinch, Charlie Brown & Rudolf

Hate: Christmas Music – Honestly? There’s about 7 good Christmas songs, and they’ve all been re-made/ butchered at least 120 times. And i don’t care if she’s being dry humped by Rudolf while recording it, i will NEVER accept a Britney Spears song as a Christmas song….

Like: Decorating the tree – Every year Amy & I pick a new theme to decorate with, settling on Black & Silver this year. For two hours, as we decorate the tree and house, it’s about simple togetherness. forget the stress and bullshit, let’s go through our ornaments and try to remember where we got them. This year is a Reindeer made out of tools… The night we do this is almost better than Christmas itself…

Hate: People –  Gee, I hate people? not exactly a news bulletin, right? my problem with people at the holidays has to do with attitudes. People who wait until the week of Christmas to finish their shopping should be punched in the kidneys repeatedly. Don’t wait until 90% of the population has purchased every “must have” item and then get pissed at store employees because everything sold out. If you are so miserable shopping for the people you claim to love, stay the fuck home, no one else needs you to bring them down. And maybe while you’re wallowing in self-pity and loathing, you should re-evaluate your holiday priorities. Go down to a soup kitchen on Christmas day and then think about how important that robot hamster was, you self-absorbed douchebag

Like: Family – For Various reasons, be it distance, schedules or just life, i don’t see most of my family as much as i wish i did. So I don’t mind multiple dinners/Parties/road trips, it seems to be the one time of year when we don’t allow anything else to get in our way. All the excuses fall by the wayside and we finally sit down with our loved ones. And in those moments i realize how lucky i am, not everyone has a family or friends as great as mine

Hate: Myself – Strange one, right? Don’t worry, I’m not depressed, suicidal or homicidal, there’s really only one thing i hate about myself during the holidays; fake charity. because this is the time of year when i give change to the bell ringers, buy the Make-a-Wish angels, buy books for poor families, give to the food bank, etc..etc…etc… The fact is i give pennies compared to what i spend on Christmas presents, and really, where the hell is this charity year around? Every time I give at Christmas, I should have my warn fuzzy feeling jammed down my throat, because i could be giving or doing so much more. Admit it, so could you….

I could probably go on forever, there’s almost always something that makes me want to stab someone in the throat with a toothpick. But I’ll end it with the reminder to focus on what’s important. I have a grandmother with Alzheimer’s, and believe me, enjoying one last lucid Christmas with her is more important than every present in the world. Just remember what you may be missing by objectifying a day that should be spent remembering just how lucky you are

Lastly….. Santa is real, get over it  = )


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